I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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