i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
