I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
