I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
