the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
