she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
