You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
