the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
