I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
