I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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