FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Houston, we have a blender
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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