this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
