It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
