just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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