the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I lost the right to judge tonight
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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