So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
