I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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