Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
do herpes really smell.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
