I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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