never play flip cup with pint glasses
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize