Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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