can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
