the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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