Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
