Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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