What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
