He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
