So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
