You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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