you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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