my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
