quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
