I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize