I wanna bring you to show and tell
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
