so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
