You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
