He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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