Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The air was thick with penises
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
