Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
