Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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