Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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