"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
