yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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