Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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