My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
