I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
