the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
