we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
