I'm drive I can fine osifer
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
