She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
