I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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