pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
