You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
