I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
