She said her name was "party"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
