conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
