"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
