i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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